


T'Pol's Secret

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-17
Updated: 2010-01-17
Packaged: 2018-08-15 16:38:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8063938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: Prequel to "...And the Stockings Were Hung By Garters with Care..."  This ain't your momma's trip to the mall!  Humor, in the name of romance.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** While Trip doesn't appear directly in this story, I'm labeling it TnT, because everything that happens here, happens for him.

DISCLAIMER: _Enterprise_ and its characters are the property of CBS/Paramount. I have made no money from their use, so if you sue me, you'll get nothing and like it!

A/N: I drew upon personal experience when I wrote this, having been a co-manager of a location of the store in question in the early 90s. That said, my spelling of â€œpyjamaâ€ is purposeful, because the company uses the British spellings for much of their merchandise. 

 

10:37 A.M.  
Monday before Christmas  
Oceanview Shopping Center  
San Francisco, California

 

Missi sighed. The shop had only been open for just over half an hour, and already she and her coworkers were bored. Most people shopped from home these days; the actual store seemed to exist only for clueless guys who needed a lot of help shopping for their ladies. Nothing needed to be straightened as there had yet to be any customers to disturb anything, and they weren't quite desperate enough to dust in order to pass the time, they resorted to the usual:

Dawn held the new arrivals against herself and posed in front of the mirror.

Vernita went on and on about what a dick her man was.

Missi, having only gotten the job two weeks ago, was still too terrified to slack off on the clock, even when no one was around, and tried to look busy.

The door chime signaled the arrival of a customer.

â€œYou're up, Vernita,â€ Dawn said without looking away from the mirror.

Vernita's smile faded when she looked up and saw their first prospect of the day. â€œOh, hell no! That ain't workin'. It's yours, Dawn.â€

Dawn's nose scrunched up when she turned from the mirror. â€œEw. That one's not going past the cotton room, for sure. Go get 'er, Rookie.â€

Missi, fresh out of the Sales Associate Training Program, resisted the urge to remind her coworkers that refusing a customer was not only against company policy, but also financially damaging due to a lost opportunity at a commission...but she had to admit she was terrified. â€œOh, my god!! What do I do?â€

â€œSell her something, dumbass!â€ Dawn said.

Vernita gave Missi a little shove toward the customer.

_Well_ , Missi told herself, _at the career fair they did tell me that I'd meet a lot of interesting and different people working in retail._ Ignoring the points on her customer's ears, Missi forced her brightest smile. â€œWelcome to Victoria's Secret. How may I help you today?â€

The Vulcan woman looked cautiously around, making sure no one was within earshot. â€œI was hoping you could show me what human males prefer.â€

Missi swore she couldn't be hearing right. â€œOkaaaaaaaaaaaay...â€

â€œDiscretion is required,â€ the customer added hastily.

â€œOf course,â€ Missi agreed, still digesting the fact that there was a Vulcan in a lingerie store. â€œIs this for a...special occasion?â€ she ventured.

The Vulcan seemed to choose her words carefully. â€œIt's for a...cultural exchange study.â€

Missi couldn't quite quash the knowing smile that was tugging at the corner of her mouth. Ah, that's a new one! Glancing around at the racks of cotton pyjamas and shelves of boxer shorts, she said, â€œI don't think you're going to find what you're looking for in here. Follow me.â€

Vulcan customer in tow, Missi glanced smugly at her coworkers, who were staring open-mouthed in disbelief. They passed through the fragrance room and all the way back to where the slinky silks and satins were kept, as well as the more provocative merchandise. â€œDid you have a color or style in mind?â€

â€œHe likes blue.â€ Vulcans betrayed no emotion, but Missi certainly thought this one seemed a little awkward sharing that information; whether red or green, a blush was still a blush. 

â€œRight. Uh, is it okay if I take your measurements?â€ Missi didn't know a lot about Vulcans, had never met one before, but she thought she heard somewhere that they didn't like to be touched. If that was true, she wasn't quite sure how she was going to properly fit this woman for a bra or anything else.

â€œYou may proceed.â€

Her customer's formality took a little getting used to, but Missi resolved to remain professional and smiled. â€œGreat. I'll be right back. Go ahead and have a look around while I get the measuring tape.â€

Missi was surprised she'd gotten this far, but she tried to be cool. Vernita and Dawn were shamelessly gossiping as she started to dig through the drawers in the sales desk.

â€œThere's no way those are real,â€ Dawn was saying.

Vernita scoffed. â€œVulcans don't get boob jobs.â€

â€œYeah, but she's so...â€

Vernita considered for a moment. â€œTheir planet has stronger gravity than ours,â€ she concluded authoritatively. â€œMust've developed sag-resistant boobs to deal with that or something, 'cause you ever notice how here, they're _all_ perky? None of 'em ever needs a bra.â€

â€œHey,â€ Dawn said breathlessly, â€œmaybe we'll get the record for selling the first bra to a Vulcan?â€

Missi shut the drawer, measuring tape in hand. â€œYou're both mental.â€

Returning to the back of the store, Missi found her customer contemplating a pair of transparent thong underwear. â€œThis is what men like?â€

Had she been asked what she thought she'd be doing at work today, Missi never would've predicted she'd be explaining slutty underwear to someone from another planet. â€œI know, right? Hardly seems worth even putting them on.â€

Missi's customer continued gazing at her fingers through the sheer fabric. â€œAgreed.â€

â€œNear as I can figure,â€ Missi went on, sensing she was gaining the woman's trust, â€œthey like stuff that's see-through because they want an obvious invitation...but they also want to feel like they're getting away with something, so you gotta cover it up a little. Keep the fruit kind of forbidden, if you know what I mean.â€ 

The Vulcan woman handed the panties over to Missi. â€œI will take them.â€

_That was easy._ Missi giggled, part of her still waiting for the hidden camera crew from some practical joke show to come out and let her know she'd been had. Either that, or management had just sent in the secret shopper from hell to see how she'd do under pressure. Damn, she hated being new! â€œNow let's get you measured, and then I can show you some things. Just relax your arms at your sides...â€

Realizing that there was no good way to do this to someone who didn't like to be touched, Missi resolved to just get in, get it done, and get out as quickly as possible. First she circled the tape just under the woman's bust, then at its fullest. Mentally she did the math to calculate the cup size and gasped.

â€œIs something wrong?â€ the customer asked.

â€œNot at all,â€ Missi smiled. _Just feeling a little inadequate here in my Miracle Bra is all._ â€œJust let me grab some things to show you, and we'll get a fitting room started.â€ 

Missi dashed off and returned in a few moments with a handful of various items, some silky and some lacy, some long and some short. â€œI know you said he likes blue, but I brought the eggplant for you try, too. I think it'll be stunning on you.â€ It was then that Missi noted the vampy little black corset with the red bows in her customer's hands.

â€œI would like to try this, too.â€ 

â€œExcellent choice. I'll let you get started, and I'll be back to check on you in a few minutes. If you need anything, my name's Missi, with an 'I'.â€ She had no idea why she included that last detail.

Her client bowed her head slightly by way of introduction. â€œT'Pol.â€

Missi was glad the door shut; the Vulcan woman wouldn't see her running to her coworkers at the wrap desk. â€œOhmygodohmygodohmygod! You guysâ€”it's her! It's _her!!_ â€

â€œWho, 'her'?â€ Vernita said, sounding bored already.

â€œFrom the _Enterprise_ ,â€ Missi said excitedly, trying to keep her voice low. â€œT'Pol! In _our store!_ â€

Vernita's eyes doubled in size. â€œShut the fuck up!â€

Dawn wrinkled her nose. â€œWho?â€

Vernita slapped Dawn in the arm. â€œYou know. Remember that whole thing last year? With Terra Prime? And that kid? It was all over the tabloids for months.â€

Dawn gasped as memory filled in the blanks for her. â€œOh, yeah! The kid was hers, right? And that blond guyâ€”the hottie!â€

â€œThe press releases all said she and that guy weren't in a relationship,â€ Missi reminded them.

â€œAre you kidding me right now?â€ Vernita demanded incredulously. â€œIt's Christmas. She's in _our store_ , buying sexy drawers! You _know_ she's been giving Commander Hottie the ol' 'ho, ho, ho' all along!â€

Dawn clapped her hand over her mouth to keep from giggling too loud.

Missi's brow furrowed. â€œWait, did you just call my customer a ho?â€

â€œThe point is,â€ Vernita hissed, shaking her head, â€œthey're doing it, and you're holding the g-string that _proves_ it!â€

Missi rolled her eyes. â€œWhatever. I'm going to go check on her.â€

Dawn bounced excitedly. â€œTell us if she says anything about him.â€

â€œIt seems he likes _blue_ ,â€ Missi answered in a tone that suggested her coworkers were making a big deal out of nothing. Truth was, she was equally excited to have a heroâ€” _a celebrity!_ â€”shopping in her store, but she'd resolved to not be a complete spaz about it and act all starstruck. She felt like T'Pol had just gotten comfortable with her, and she wasn't going to screw that up!

Missi knocked on the fitting room door. â€œHow are you doing in there? Are those sizes working out okay?â€

The door opened a crack at first, then a little more. â€œI've heard Human women complain that certain garments make their posteriors appear 'fat.'â€ An uncertain pause, then, â€œDoes this garment make my posterior appear fat?â€

Peeking in, Missi fought down a pang of envy as she saw T'Pol in a silky deep purple camisole and boy short set. _Honey_ , she wanted to tell her, _even_ fat _couldn't possibly make that ass of yours look fat!_ â€œIt looks fine,â€ she assured instead. â€œAnd I was right. The color is gorgeous on you.â€ She dropped her voice conspiratorially. â€œIt's sure to be a successful...cultural exchange study.â€

T'Pol's face remained unchanged, but Missi detected gratitude behind her eyes.

Desperate to break the moment before it got too weird for either party, Missi asked, â€œCan I take any of these out of here for you?â€

T'Pol passed over a huge pile of garments and hangers, the racy red-bowed corset topping the pile. â€œI will take these...â€ And, after one last look in the mirror, she fingered the spaghetti strap of the camisole she wore. â€œAnd this.â€

Missi smiled brightly. â€œGreat. You'll need some stockings to go with the corset. I'll just grab those, and I'll start getting everything wrapped for you.â€

Dawn and Vernita backed up a little as Missi spilled the pile of garments down onto the wrap counter.

â€œWhat's going on?â€ Dawn asked.

â€œGuys, she's buying, like, _everything_ I showed her!'

Vernita whistled. â€œLooks like she plans to keep Commander Hottie busy for a while!â€

â€œYou don't even know it's him,â€ Missi admonished, though believing all along Vernirta was probably right.

â€œOh, it's him, alright,â€ Dawn agreed certainly.

â€œHow would you know?â€ Missi said, neatly folding coordinating bras and panties into pink tissue paper. â€œYou didn't even know who they were at first.â€

â€œSo what?â€ Dawn answered. â€œI get feelings about these things.â€

Vernita started to help with the wrapping. â€œAll I know is, I wouldn't kick him out of bed...'cept to do him on the floor!â€

Dawn covered her mouth again, close to losing it.

Missi tried to maintain decorum, though she had to admit it was kind of funny. â€œBe nice, you guys,â€ she said over stifled giggles. â€œYou don't want her to hear!â€

They sobered to a point as T'Pol approached, depositing the camisole set onto the counter. Missi hoped the knowing looks and smiles were lost on her customer.

â€œIs that going to do it for you today?â€ Missi asked sweetly. She was partly sad to see her first celebrity customer go, but also undeniably relieved that her first experience serving a Vulcan would soon be over. Her nerves needed a break.

â€œQuite,â€ came T'Pol's crisp answer. She produced her identification. â€œYou can charge this to my account at Starfleet, correct?â€

â€œAbsolutely,â€ Missi answered, taking the card to complete the transaction. â€œThanks for coming in today, we appreciate your business. Have a great day!â€

Missi was answered with an enigmatic eyebrow, but again that same sense of gratitude emanated from T'Pol's eyes. She looked on as Victoria's Secret's most unlikely customer left with four large shopping bags in handâ€”a customer with the perfect body, the perfect man, and aside from that awful Terra Prime business, the perfect life, as far as she could tell.

Smiling wistfully as the petite figure got lost in the crowded mall, Missi already had her New Year's Resolution in place, and it wasn't even Christmas yet.

The career fair would be back next month...and she was going to go see what that guy at the Starfleet booth had to say.

 

END


End file.
